A Depth So Low ..

We have had in incident .. a strange and awful incident .. within the Uru community. Someone who has been here an awfully long time .. goes by the name of Starfyre .. decided to remove themselves from the community by creating a horrific death for themselves as well as a 'sister' .. leaving motherless a set of baby twins in the care of a bereaved husband and father .. and it was all posted as a realtime event. Offers of financial help were made .. plans for memorial services .. and immortalization inworld of some sort .. and the adopting of candles with "Starfyre" carved in them to be used as forum avvies as a show of mourning. Then to find out it was ALL just a farce .. because they wanted to leave ?!?!

This was a terrible TERRIBLE thing to do !!

To me THIS is unforgiveable .. to put people through such torment. If you feel that seems harsh .. let me tell you a little story ...

When my youngest daughter was 10 years old .. she was riding her bicycle along the highway near our home. She was hit by a careless driver doing 100 km/h. Her bike was crushed under the car .. while she was dragged over the top of the car .. and as it swerved with her on the hood .. she was flung to the other side of the road where she hit .. skidded .. and then rolled to a stop on the shoulder.

The driver left the scene .. and it as always been believed .. but never proven .. that they left in order to drop off the actual driver .. before someone else .. perhaps a passenger .. returned.

I watched as paramedics worked on her .. then stood by her as they loaded her into the ambulance .. her shoe propped up against her crumpled bike on the highway .. her glasses in bits in my hand. I calmed her as they worked on her on the way to the hospital .. I stood near her and spoke calmingly as they put her .. backboard .. neckbrace .. and her .. into the MRI machine .. then took the hit that they feared she had ruptured an artery near her heart.

The STARS team arrived .. and my baby was being bagged to breathe as she was loaded into an emergency helicopter to be taken away .. a ride I was not able to take with her as they had sent a full team.

I will never forget .. standing in the clear twilight .. watching them load and secure her .. the paramedic hunched over her .. squeezing that bag into her lungs. Then .. the helicopter lifting away .. getting ever smaller in that darkness. I could not take my eyes from it .. watching until it was gone from my sight .. as if somehow seeing that ever shrinking light kept me connected to her. I had a 2 hour drive then to the IWK in Halifax. 2 long hours .. to wonder .. and dread the news that might greet me when I arrived.

As soon as I arrived I was hustled to the ICU .. to be greeted by a sight of her I will NEVER forget .. tubes everywhere .. a machine breathing for her .. and her lying there .. so utterly broken .. her face so bruised and swollen I didn't recognize her .. and .. my God .. she was so, so very .. still. She suffered from a fractured skull .. had blood clots on her brain .. a fractured orbital socket and the lateral bone that the brain rests on was fractured .. a broken nose .. a broken collar bone .. a broken back .. a broken ankle .. and she had skidded so hard along the pavement that the flesh had been peeled from her back and down her left leg. And, btw, those head injuries were what she sustained WITH a helmet on !! She is still partially blind in her left eye to this day, too.

I only left her side when I HAD to .. and for the shortest of times. Always I wanted to be there for her .. a palpable familiar, safe, force .. talking to her .. touching her .. always wanting her to know that I was there .. that I loved her .. that I was waiting for her to open her eyes .. and come back to me. I was determined that she would NOT open her eyes and find that she was alone.

And finally .. after a couple of days .. they removed the breathing tube .. and she breathed on her own. I held her hand close to my face .. keeping that small hand wrapped so gently around her favorite tiny toy kitten .. and suddenly .. slowly .. she brought her fingers back .. and ever so slightly she touched my cheek .. and whispered "My Mommy ... " .. and my world got made whole again.

As you can see .. I have something in the way of experience with such a horrific event .. I KNOW what this sort of thing can do .. can feel like .. can take out of you .. and I have not felt this so deeply in a very long while.

NOW .. I would NEVER want anyone to go through that .. NOT ANYONE .. and I want something understood here .. I got to relive a bit of that special little hell all over again .. wondering how that "poor husband" must have been coping .. sitting by that hospital bed .. knowing he had tiny children at home .. my God !!

If Starfyre .. or whoever they really are .. had wanted to leave the community .. why not just go .. say their good byes .. mean it and move on ?? Why put good and caring people through this terrible, painful ordeal ?? I cannot imagine what other personal pains were also relived by so many others .. and then to find it was all for some stupid, selfish ploy .. because someone wanted to leave ?!?!

I am rarely this angry or unforgiving .. but .. in returning the same respect, care and concern that you have shown all of us .. I say this .. Starfyre .. as far as I'm concerned .. I don't care who the Hell you are .. how DARE you do this to so many good people .. then .. make a few justifying excuses .. NOT apologies by any means .. and start posting in your forum as if you have done NOTHING. Do the decent thing finally .. and just leave .. and don't EVER come back !!

Has It Been One Month Already??

Hmmm .. well I never said I was going to be good at this .. :D

I posted recently on the Uru Live forum that I've never been one to take "no" for an answer until I was absolutely sure that I had to .. well .. I'm to the point where I've accepted that I "have" to. Taking into account what I've read about the service that GameTap seems able to offer anyone outside a rather narrow range of "broadband" .. I would say that I .. and a great many others .. will be excluded from playing Uru Live. I have tried all that is available to me .. there is nothing more I can do .. :(

There are a LOT of us that fall under the "international" players group .. and GameTap as it is currently set up does not cater to those of us outside of the US .. though that is supposed to be remedied at some point along the way. My feeling is that one of the things that surprised them with the survey they had us take was that a good number of fans actually live outside the US market.

Then we get to add these items into the equation.

First off .. NO support of ANY kind for dialup .. which currently is my .. and a lot of others .. only online option.

Second .. there is NO support for satellite broadband .. something that a LOT of people are unaware of .. and a few people (including myself) have been looking into. It will be the ONLY broadband available to me where I live .. being offered in the near future.

Third .. there is iffy to no support for people who's broadband falls below their recommended range .. someone posted that as 384K. Apparently .. much below that speed and their systems don't register the connection as active .. or something like that.

I look at the problems that more then a handful have run into in discovering these things .. and I have to wonder at the enthusiasm that is fostered among the fans. A page has been created for those "international" fans who want to sign up .. but who cannot yet .. in order to let it be known that they are interested. Yet .. with no real way to know if they even will be able to access it .. given the "issues" that so many have that exclude them from participating.

Someone posted that it gives the accountants numbers to look at .. but when it comes time and so many find out that they cannot play .. numbers may not reflect the amount of those who signed up. I would imagine too .. that many will be terribly disappointed when they get down to the wire and find out they are excluded. I agree with another poster who said it makes something of a mockery of the international sign up list that so many are so enthusiastically signing .. when GameTap seems unable to provide anything but a service to a very specific "broadband" audience.

I've followed the Myst series for so long .. played all the games .. gotten several versions of them even .. read all the books .. even have some great collectable items too. I've loved the unfolding story of this family line and to have even more coming .. and to be denied participating .. is SO frustrating !!

I've done everything I can to "find a way .. " .. but I accept now .. that unless some miracle happens .. I can't even begin to think of .. whereby the petty broadband gods decide to extent their broadband hand in my general direction .. and bestow upon me non-satellite-above-384k broadband .. that I will never see the inside of Uru Live.

So for me anyway .. it seems that with Myst V .. the ending truly has been written.